My dear friend English;
How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.
I hate thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.
- More than spiders, snakes and the ever disgusting leech.
I hate the way you make me sit there
- Knowing nothing, playing with my hair.
I hate how you have no finite answer
- No right, no wrong, is it because I'm a dancer?
I hate how you take up all of my time
- Writing rubbish when I think that I'm doing fine.
I hate thee and thy metalanguage
- They make me want to ingest a fridge.
I hate how you're the only subject that ever gives me A's
- That's asian fail you know, and haunts me for days.
I hate thee for making me speak in public
- And no, Australia should not become a republic.
I hate how you made me concentrate for three hours
- Yes actually I
would rather be skipping around flowers.
I hate thee for all of thy six sacs
- Only half done, oh cut me some slack(s).
I hate thee and thy language analysis
- Three articles?! Plain mental is your diagnosis.
I hate thee for making me pen you a poem
- Don't you know I could be studying the fascinating phloem?
I hate thee and thine Look Both Ways
- Quotes in my head and nightmares for days!
I hate thee for my poor sac mark, oh how thy dares
- Let Meryl eat Nick for all I care
I hate thee for my too small vocabulary
- Oh how I wish I was a fairy, or is it faery?
I hate thee for thy strange spelling, see,
- Why is it 'i' before 'e' but not after 'c'?
I hate thee for demanding to be in my top four
- This should be illegal! Change the damn law!
I hate how you mark me down for structure
- Intro, conclusion? My hand has a fracture.
I hate thee and thy lengthy, hand-hurting, notes
- They will be burnt or drowned or eaten by goats!
I hate thee for making my brain have a dent
- Although I guess I should thank you, I needed to vent
I hate thee and thy mind consuming ways
- My hatred will not end, not at death, on my last day
Just mark my words, I will have my revenge
- MY SANITY WILL BE ONE DAY AVENGED!!!
With love, Julia